When I found out that I got a 6 month gig at Disneyland Hong Kong, I was stoked–but in about 1.5 seconds, I was thinking about Chris. 6 months apart from my then-2-year boyfriend? We hadn’t spent more than 2 weeks apart since we’d started dating. I was freaking out.
This is what I’m going to be talking about today–When you get a gig that takes you away from home, how do you deal with not seeing your significant other for so long?
First things first, congratulate yourself! You worked really hard, busted your butt, and now you’re going to be traveling the world and working a dream job. Go you! Enjoy this win!
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Now let’s get down to it:
1.) Have the “Define The Relationship” Talk.
I know. It might be awkward. It might be painful. But if you two aren’t on the same page, it’s going to be a lot more painful down the line. It’s all about commitment when it comes to long distance. When one or both of you aren’t fully committed, that’s when breakups, cheating, and/or forms of abuse happen.
Chris and I, from the start, did everything very quickly. We fell in love quickly, we made promises quickly, we got attached quickly. Before I even auditioned for Disneyland Hong Kong, we had talked about getting married and being in each other’s futures. This laid a solid foundation for when I moved away. It builds trust to agree on what your roles are in each other’s lives.
Talk to your SO about your relationship before you leave. Find out what page each of you are on. If you both want to be with each other for while, keep reading. If you find that’s not the case, I’m sorry. Better to know now than waste 6 months trying to make something work that wasn’t going to work in the first place.
2.) Set Some Rules.
This is pretty straight-forward, but tell your partner what you’re comfortable with. If you want your relationship to be entirely monogamous, tell them. Be upfront with what you want so that there can be no misunderstandings.
3.) Make the Days Leading Up to Your Departure the Best You’ve Ever Had.
Plan amazing dates, spend lots of time, buy supplies for your trip together. Get your SO to go shopping with you if you need anything for your trip, so that you have things that remind you of them when you arrive at your destination. All of these moments with them are going to be the most fresh in your mind, reminding you throughout your trip how great it is to be with them.
You may be tempted to just forget about your partner for the duration of your trip out of the pain of not physically being with them, but I want to strongly urge you against it. I’ve seen first-hand what it can do to couples, and it’s a very hard bell to un-ring. Once you convince yourself to not care about them, so much of your love for them will dissipate and it will not come back soon. It could take years and years to come back, if it comes back at all.
4.) Buy or Bring a Stuffed Animal.
I’m serious! If you don’t already have a stuffed animal that you want to bring, buy one with your partner. You’re going to miss regular hugs, and unlike full-grown humans, you can stuff a teddy bear in your carry-on.
I was having such a terrible time trying to sleep in Hong Kong until I started sleeping cuddled up with my stuffed animal, Sheeple. If you couldn’t guess, Sheeple was a sheep, who my mom got me when we went to Ireland. Then, when I lost Sheeple and had a full-blown panic attack and meltdown, my mom sent me Violet, a cute little teddy bear that someone gave me when I was a baby. Long story short, I could sleep again.
5.) Schedule a Regular Phone Call/Video Call Time Around Your Time Difference.
It’s so important to hear your partner’s voice. This one is up here for obvious reasons; you want to see them, so see them! It’s that simple.
Chris and I’s time difference was 13 hours. That means that when I was getting up, he was going to bed and vice-versa. For us, we picked my morning/his evening. I’m an early riser, he’s a night-owl.
Find a time that works for you two. If there is absolutely no time that works for both of you, make time. Either you or they have to budge, because if you can’t talk to them for 6 months, might as well call it quits now. Make the effort, as hard as it might be, and your relationship will survive. We’ve all heard it; relationships are hard work.
Of course, there are exceptions. 1.) If you want to go the route of snail-mail, you can! It’s a more difficult, yet way more romantic, method of communicating. And 2.) text messages are your friends. Send one and they’ll get back to you when they’re awake! Easy-peasy.
6.) Spend Some Good Time With Friends.
This one came straight from Chris. You’re going to need to fill that human-interaction void somehow, and this is the best way.
If you haven’t made any friends yet in this new place, make some! It took me forever to get really close to anyone in Hong Kong, and I paid for it. Just have some fun with whoever’s around. You deserve it.
Explore your new surroundings with the people you meet. If they recently moved there as well, they’re most likely going to want to explore. Might as well be with you! Get out there!
7.) And Lastly: Be the Best “You” That You Can Be.
This is such a valuable experience to really practice your craft in a situation with very little familiar distractions. Ever hear people say, “I don’t want any distractions,” when they’re explaining why they don’t want a relationship? Well, this is where you get the best of both worlds. You still have your partner, but now you have a little more “you” time as well. Take advantage of it! Do everything you never had enough time to do before! Not only will it help you grow as a person, it’ll distract you until it’s time to call them and catch up.
There you have it.
If you liked this article and want to keep up with Bell Blogging, please Email Subscribe and check out our Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest! I really hope that you enjoyed this article, and that it helps you and your significant other get stronger. Chris and I tried our very hardest while I was away, and we made it through to the other side. Thanks so much for tuning in, and I can’t wait to share more with you guys.
